Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
