they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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