let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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