that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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