Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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