put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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