Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
