if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
