the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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