i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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