we have officially lost it.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
