No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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