Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
