This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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