You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
