Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
