If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize