i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
