Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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