New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
