that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You need Xanax blowdarts
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize