Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
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