I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
