yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I enjoy the company of your penis
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
