im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
