i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize