I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
