He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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