u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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