Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
