I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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