I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
