you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize