HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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