who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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