I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
