i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
