Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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