I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
