I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
