I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
