I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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