Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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