Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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