I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
