HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
