I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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