i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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