I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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