Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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