i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
