Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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