I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize