I'm going to jail i love you
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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