just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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