I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
