Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Randomize
