I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
you inspire me to be a worse person
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
