Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
