Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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