You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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